Journalists at the Nicaraguan Post have a great sense of humour. Read their excellent satirical pieces on Thaksin Shinawatra, who is about to rally Red Shirted troops to storm the presidential palace in the Managua, capital of Nicaraguan.
Political Satire: Thaksin to buy Nicaraguan Post
After single handedly increasing traffic 2,253% at the Nicaraguan Post website, Thaksin Shinawatra has put in an offer to take over the Company. “It just keeps getting better every day” Shinawatra said from his undisclosed whereabouts “love me or hate me, you can’t ignore me. I have great plans for the site; I will be writing a daily blog and on Saturday’s I will be presenting an online Q & A session called ‘Get Wacky with Thaky’”.
The current owners were unavailable for comment but were rumored to be visiting the Pat pong district of Bangkok, with a view to purchasing some of Thailand’s most treasured assets with their new found wealth.
President Ortega has responded to the sale with great joy; in a six hour long speech he said. “Once again we can have an independent unbiased news source in the country. The Nicaraguan Government will do everything it can to help our new friend; we have a full set of writers ready to go”.
In other news, President Ortega, speaking on his initiative for abolishing term limits said “our plan is to put it to the people, but unlike the November Mayoral elections, we will have foreign observers from all over the World. So far we have China, Nth Korea, Russia, Cuba and Zimbabwe”.
Political Satire: Shinawatra to join ALBA
Former convicted Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra has taken his first business step in Central America after receiving a diplomatic passport from the government of Nicargaua.
He has joined the five nation group ALBA, set up by Commandant Hugo Chavez of Venezuela for the redistribution of wealth through oil.
When asked how he could be accepted to the group without a country to represent; President Daniel Ortega of Nicaragua said “it’s not really a prerequisite; if he wants to give the money to a country he might buy later that would be okay, I haven’t even decided what to do with mine yet.”
Shinawatra is also looking into the ‘white lobster’ business off Nicaragua’s Caribbean coast.
With an as yet undisclosed partner, he plans to flood the coastline with a fleet of puntas imported from Thailand, netting all the bales of narcotics and moving them to an undisclosed location. The venture will be called Operation Charlie.
“I feel I can do a great job here” Shinawatra said. “This is an opportunity I find hard to resist; creating a better life for the poorer people of a country is what I’m all about.” He went on to add “With the help of heads of state like Senor Ortega, I can make anything disappear.”
Although not confirmed yet, the Thai, an avid sports-fan is reportedly ready to sponsor Nicaragua’s ‘Golden boy’ minimumweight World boxing champion, Roman ‘Chocolate’ Gonzalez. For an estimated six figure endorsement, Gonzalez will now be known as Roman ‘The Riceburner’ Gonzalez.
Gonzalez, although not happy with the change of name, felt it was a worthwhile sacrifice to keep his Mercedes and his ex off his back.
Nicaraguan party queries Thaksin move
Nicaragua came up in the Thai press in late February when it was named as a country prepared to offer shelter to fugitive former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra.
But Nicaragua has not only given Thaksin special citizenship, the central American state has also granted him a passport.
A picture of Thaksin shaking hands with a man believed to be Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega during a visit to the capital Managua was published by a local newspaper, and later released to international media outlets.
Nicaragua gave former Thai PM diplomatic passport
— Nicaragua issued Thailand’s former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra a diplomatic passport earlier this year, the authorities in Managua have announced.
President Daniel Ortega had “asked the foreign ministry to accredit him (Thaksin) as an ambassador of Nicaragua on a special mission, in order to facilitate his efforts to bring investments to our country,” said a government statement.
The Nicaraguan statement was issued Wednesday, hours after the Thai authorities said they had revoked Thaksin’s passport for having allegedly incited recent deadly anti-government protests.
Thailand said Thursday it has no extradition agreement with Nicaragua.
“We have diplomatic relations with Nicaragua but no extradition agreement,” foreign ministry spokesman Tharit Charungvat told AFP.
Tharit said Thailand had “not yet” issued a formal protest to authorities in Managua.
“Nicaragua can give whatever they want to,” Tharit told AFP.
Thai authorities said Wednesday they had cancelled Thaksin’s passport after his supporters stormed the venue of an Asian summit at a Thai beach resort on the weekend, forcing it to be cancelled.
“The ministry can cancel or recall a passport if it can prove that a person has caused damage to the country,” government spokesman Panitan Wattanayagorn said at the time.
Thaksin was ousted in a military coup in 2006 and lives in exile to avoid a two-year jail term for corruption. He has made a series of speeches to his supporters in Thailand in recent weeks calling for a “revolution”.
In a television interview filmed in Dubai before the announcement of the passport cancellation, the billionaire tycoon denied that he had incited violence.